Settled For Second
by Amber1990
Summary: Betrayed by the one she loves, Bella doesn't know how to come to terms with this new life she's been thrown into. She doesn't know who to trust. She can't even confide in Jacob, her loving friend, who has started his own wolf pack and a new life. JxB
1. Lost and Found

Chapter One

Jacob POV

The night was dark. It seems like an obvious statement, but this night was so utterly dark that even I was afraid. My wolf senses seeming desperately lacking in the fierce wilderness that surrounded me. I no longer had any idea where I was. I no longer knew what day it was. All I knew was that it was night, and this was the first time I had stopped running since breaking from Sam's pack.  
I felt like a complete idiot. A rash, foolish, immature idiot! A part of me wanted to run back home and beg for forgiveness... but pride wouldn't allow such a thing. Grovelling? That so wasn't my style.  
So now I was at a loss for what to do. I had no ties to bind me. No pack... no Bella. She had just come back from her honeymoon. Even Charlie had given me his not-so-subtle 'stay away' talk. She was happy now, apparently. She no longer needed me.  
I howled into the blackness. Long and loud. Mourning for her in my human mind, and crying for her with my wolf's body. Remembering her acceptance of me, the way she ran her fingers through my fur, the way she kissed me that first time even if it was a ruse... I blocked these painful memories as my paws started to run of their own accord. At least there was one positive with being away from the pack, my mind was my own again. I almost couldn't remember what it felt like not to have others shouting at me for thinking inappropriate thoughts. Though, without the mixture of voices... I was beginning to get lonely.  
I growled as I skidded to a halt. I couldn't go on like this. Even if I didn't beg for forgiveness, running away from my problems wasn't the way to go. It wasn't the way I'd been brought up. Thinking of Billy caused another howl to erupt from my throat. I hated to imagine what my absence was doing to him. How much I must have disappointed him made me feel even more guilty.  
I hung my head low as I searched the void around me for a speck of light, for any sign of life at all. At least if I knew where I was, I might be able to start heading in the right direction. Home.  
Seeing nothing amongst the trees, I had to hold my head high. I sniffed the breeze, then headed towards a distinct scent. Humans. People. Something I wasn't anymore. I hated thinking like this, like the outsider; if only it weren't true.  
My sign turned into a growl as something rustled in the bushes beside me. A rabbit. No bother. I wasn't hungry anymore. Even though I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten anything. Ignoring my odd behaviour, I continued toward what I hoped would be civilisation.

Before I knew it... I was there. It wasn't much, but at least it was something. A little town in the middle of nowhere. So desolate, not even street lights marked the winding path the road briefly followed through the small town. Some of the houses reminded me of the Rez, but I didn't want to be reminded of home right now. Not when I was so close to chickening out and continuing to run away like the coward I was.  
Instead, I changed. Quickly. Then snuck into the nearest backyard. Luckily, a few spare clothes had been forgotten on the washing line overnight. I helped myself to a pair of khaki shorts and a black shirt that wouldn't even button up across my chest.  
Properly covered, I decided to wander down the main road. No street names marked the road, no sign posts told me where I was. So I simply followed the road that I thought would lead me south. The weather may not have affected me, but I did notice the chill in the air that told me I was much further north than Forks would be. Just as I had started my gentle jog, the snow started to fall. Perfect white crystals against my russet brown skin. I growled as I swatted the perfect, sparkling flakes away from my skin. Too great a reminder were they of the immortal that was chosen over me.  
Just as my vision started to swim with the tears that threatened to flow down my cheeks, I heard a voice.  
'Jacob?' The voice seemed unsure. Though it was timid, it startled me so violently I jumped. Then I cast steely glances around me. Where was this voice coming from?  
'Jacob?' It was the same voice. I swear I recognised it from somewhere...  
'Jacob?' The voice was more urgent, cutting off my own thoughts.  
'Where are you?' I screamed at the blacktop as I spun in a circle, trying to penetrate the darkness to see whoever was following me.  
'Jacob... I'm in your head.' As soon as it was said I knew it was true.  
'But...' I didn't get chance to finish before I was cut off once more.  
'Jacob,' the voice bit a little harshly. Reminding me even more of someone I was sure I knew. 'It's me... Leah.'

Bella POV

The pain was excruciating. I was sure I must be dead. There was no possible way I could have endured so much and still be living.  
'Edward.' I tried to shout, but it came out as more of a whisper.  
'It's okay, love, I'm here.' A gentle, cool pressure tightened around my hand. I whipped my head around. I could barely see him through the fog of anguish that surrounded me. Though I could have sworn that he looked as bad as I felt... but that wasn't possible. Not for my beautiful, amazing, perfect Edward.  
'Did it really happen?' I forced the question from my lips.  
'What, love?'  
'The wedding, the honeymoon... everything. Did it happen? Are you sure it was real? Are you sure you're real?' I attempted the last question as a joke, but it came out as more of a strangled cry. Edward looked utterly helpless.  
'Of course it was real. And I am most certainly real. I'm the one that's done this to you...' he choked off. I stared at his face once more. If vampires could cry, I would swear my beloved Edward would have been at that moment.  
'It isn't your fault. Honest... I'm fine.' The lie was futile. It was clear to all that I was very far away from being fine.  
Ever since we had come back from Isle Esme, things had gotten worse. Ever since I had found out that I was pregnant. I knew that Edward would always blame himself for what had happened... but if I hadn't forced him then none of this would be happening. It was all down to me. I was breaking my brand new, perfect marriage apart. All for something that I didn't even know I wanted. But now that I had our child inside me, I knew it was right. However much Edward begged, I knew that I had to keep this child. And Rosalie was the only one that could help me do that.  
'Where's Rosalie?' I asked, suddenly aware of her missing presence.  
'She had to feed. She almost attacked you yesterday while you were asleep, it was getting too dangerous for her to go without. She made me promise not to move until she returned.'  
That was when Carlisle entered the room. I was painfully aware of his appearance, but I couldn't do anything about it from my makeshift hospital bed in the Cullen's living room.  
When I stared harder, I noticed he had a syringe. I started to panic. I looked at Edward, but even he couldn't hold my gaze. I knew something had to be going on. Something was wrong.  
'Edward,' my voice was laced with panic. 'What is going on? You said you'd promised Rosalie...' I trailed off as another wave of pain came coursing through my abdomen.  
'I know I promised... but... Carlisle... he didn't...' Edward couldn't finish. All he could do was tighten the grip that still encompassed my hand.  
'Don't panic, Bella.' Carlisle instructed, though it was far too late for that now. 'This will all be over soon...'  
I screamed as the needle approached my IV... more for fear of the needle than anything else. But then the real implications hit me. What about my baby? I knew they were going to do something terrible. I would never forgive them.  
'Don't...' was all I could mumble as the drug dulled my senses and lulled me into a not so peaceful slumber.


	2. The Best and Worst of Days

Chapter Two

Jacob POV

The voice stopped me dead in my tracks. It wasn't that I didn't believe her, that wasn't the problem. Of course I knew it was Leah. I would recognise that melodic, slightly whiny voice anywhere. The only problem was the implications that the arrival of her voice in my head brought.

Something Billy told my once flowed into my mind. I knew Leah must be hearing it too. I hoped she could answer the questions the memory raised.

It was a week after my first change. Everything was brand new and absolutely terrifying. It didn't help that I had lost the one person I could confide in, the one person that could help me make sense of my situation. Bella. But Billy knew how crappy I was feeling. He had wheeled himself into my path as I had tried to make a quick exit through the back door one morning. I hadn't even heard his chair squeak, the sneaky old man.

He had ordered me into the living room to 'Sit my moody butt down on the couch for a serious conversation.' His words in my head were as clear as if he stood next to me.

So, I had sat. But I hadn't been prepared for the bombshell he was about to drop.

'You realise, all this wolf stuff, it's genetic.' I mumbled in response, though Billy continued to talk. 'Your grandfather was the last Pack Alpha.' This was the first time Ephraim Black's past had been shared with me. Billy never usually talked about his father.

'And?' I was interested, but I couldn't let Billy know that. I had to appear unfazed by this sudden declaration.

'Don't you know what it means?'

'Obviously not.' I snorted, quickly becoming angrier than I had intended. My anger was always a problem in the beginning.

'It means that the Pack Alpha role is rightfully yours. If you wanted it, Sam would have to stand down.' Billy stared into my eyes, trying to gauge my reaction to his outburst.

'But…' I wasn't sure what to say. All I wanted to do was blend in, not take charge. It was all too much. 'I can't,' was all I murmured as I hung my head low. I felt that I had let Billy down with my words.

'That's okay, son. Maybe you're a bit too young yet… but if ever you should want the role, it is always going to be there for you.'

I snapped out of the memory quickly as Leah's voice began to fill my head.

'Billy was right you know, about you being Pack Alpha. The role was always there for you.'

'So… this means?' By this time, I was sat at the edge of the road. Waiting for the news I didn't really want to hear.

'Sam told us that, when you left, you created another pack. And, because you're the descendant of the last pack leader, you were the only one to be able to break your bond to Sam.'

'How can I be speaking to you then?'

'You created a rift in the pack. We all feel torn now. Torn because we are allowed to actually make the decision between you and Sam. All the boys are still thinking things through… but my choice was pretty clear. I broke from Sam moments after you left.'

'But… how can I be speaking with you?'

'What do you mean?' Leah snapped, I was getting on her nerves already.

'I'm not in my wolf form. How can I hear you?'

'Pack Alpha's can hear their pack, even if they are human. As long as the pack members are in their wolf form. Didn't Sam ever tell you this?' She sounded incredulous. 'Anyway, I've avoided changing into a wolf for a few days… to give you some time. I know how you get when you're brooding.' She snorted into my head.

'Hey, Leah…'

'Yeah?'

'Get the hell out of my head.' And with that, she was gone. Maybe this 'Pack Alpha' stuff wasn't so bad after all. If I could make Leah do anything I wanted with a simple command. I chuckled to myself in the darkness.

Leah had just given me a proper reason to go home. Before this, I had nothing. Now, I had a pack. Even if that pack only included Leah, it was still a responsibility. Though I couldn't help but wonder why Quil and Embry were still deciding… my boys should have followed me as quick as Leah. Not that I wanted to order them around. I just missed them. I would have given anything for it to have been their voices inside my head.

I stripped out of my shirt and discarded it at the side of the road, while I reached over and tore a vine from a tree over my head. Carefully hidden in the bushes at the side of the road, I took off the khaki shorts I had 'borrowed' and tied them around my ankle with the vine. I just hoped my knot would hold out until I got home.

Quickly reverting to my animal form, I began to run. Now, I ran with a purpose. Things seemed to be looking up, and for that I was glad. I was sure that it was all going to get better.

As I looked up to the horizon, I saw the first rays of the blood-red sun bleed through the leaves of the trees. The light scattered around me in little pools. Today was going to be a good day.

Bella POV

I opened my eyes to a world that was blurred. I blinked. Once, twice. Still nothing. My memories were evading me. I knew there was something important that I was missing… but I couldn't put my finger on it. That's when I heard it. The screams.

They pierced my ears like knives. I struggled to cover my ears with my hands, but found I was unable to move. I continued to blink. Everything started to get a little clearer. Though the screams were as loud as ever.

That's when I realised… the screams were coming from me. But I couldn't remember why I was screaming. My sudden panic just increased the volume and frequency of my outburst.

A cool hand began to caress my forehead. I heard whispered attempts to quieten me. These futile words were drowned out by my own bellows.

I had to stop for breath. I didn't know how long I had been screaming for, but it was long enough that I was now struggling to breathe. As my mouth opened wider to gasp and my protests abated, the cool hand was moved from my forehead to my mouth. I blinked some more, trying to make out who was silencing me. When my vision cleared enough, I saw that it wasn't the person that I had been expecting.

It was Carlisle. Frown creasing his forehead while he desperately tried to calm me down.

'Bella, I need you to be quiet now. I know what has happened is inexcusable, but there was simply no other way. I'm so sorry this had to happen.'

'What?' I mumbled from beneath Carlisle's hand as I struggled with the memories that were still non-existent. Carlisle's frown lines deepened as his concern for me grew.

'Bella... I think you may be experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.' I felt my eyes grow wide as my mouth hung open slightly beneath the marble hand that still covered it.

'What...' I began, but cut myself short. If I was experiencing stress... I must have been through something stressful.

My eyes grew wide once more as I realised what Carlise had done... What Edward had let Carlisle do. To me, and to our baby.

With that, I screamed. Not even Carlisle's hand could mask the unearthly sound that emerged from my mouth. Even I didn't know I was capable of such a noise.

'What have you done!' It was barely a question, more an accusation. Though I was surprised at how I managed to continue screaming and speak at the same time.

'We had to...' Carlisle sighed, knowing that he couldn't avoid telling me the truth. 'Get rid of your baby. I'm so sorry, Bella.'

When his words had confirmed my worst fears, I started to bawl. My screams replaced by an unrelenting flow of steady tears.

'But... why?' I stammered through my throat that was thick with sobs.

Carlisle sighed as he put his head into his hands. Never before had I seen him so defeated. But Carlisle and his problems weren't my concern at the moment. I was too angry, devastated, betrayed to care.

'You know Alice went away for a while...' He looked up at me as he began to speak, his eyes begged for my cooperation. So, I nodded, though I didn't want to know the story... only what had happened after he had drugged me. 'She went to find out anything she could about vampire and human reproduction. You know that I was at a loss. Such a thing, I thought, was unprecedented. But Alice proved me wrong. South America was where we found our facts.' Carlisle paused, to see if I was still listening. I hoped he was coming to the point, because his words were barely registering in my head. 'She found a vampire, one hundred and fifty years old, who had had a human mother and a vampire father.'

'Get to the point, Carlisle!' I hated shouting at him, but I couldn't contain myself any longer. I had to know why he had ruined my life.

'This vampire remembered everything, Bella. Everything about his birth. He remembered how he had killed his own mother, ripped her apart.'

'I don't care about me! Don't you understand? The baby was the important one!' My voice was getting shriller and higher the angrier I became.

'But this wasn't the only case that Alice came across. If it had only been one, Rosalie would have made us risk your life for you to have the baby. Unfortunately, after all the evidence that Alice found... we had no other choice. Edward would not risk loosing you. So, we persuaded Rosalie to go hunting. I'm so very sorry we tricked you. I know that Rosalie will never forgive me, but it was all for you Bella.'

'Where is he? Where is my baby?' The tears had resurfaced during Carlisle's tale, and I knew I had no hope of trying to make them stop.

'Your baby was a girl, barely developed. She had ripped up your womb so badly in her early stages of development that there was hardly any placenta left to further her growth. She was dying anyway... If we had left her inside you, you would have both died for naught.'

'Was she...' I sobbed, 'in pain?' The last word came out as a howl.

'She died as soon as her face touched the air. That I am certain of. There was no discomfort. I can honestly tell you that she went peacefully.'

Carlisle stopped talking as he waited for my grieving to cease. Little did he know that I was never going to get over the loss of my baby. My little treasure. My precious girl.

'I'm so sorry, Bella...' But his pity only made me angry.

'Get me Edward... Now!' I leaned forward and growled into Carlisle's face.

'I'm so sorry, Bella...' Carlisle repeated.

'Why? Why are you sorry now? What else could you have possibly done, aside from ruin my life?' It was melodramatic, deep down I knew that... but it did feel as though I had lost a huge part of myself. I was left with a gaping hole that would never mend.

'I'm sorry because Edward isn't here right now. He had to go away. He couldn't stand betraying you. He said to tell you that he loved you dearly and that he would be back before evening.'

Carlisle stood from the end of the bed, and only then did I realise that I had been taken upstairs to Edward's room and placed in his practically new fourposter bed. Very much unused.

As I watched the doctor leave, I noticed the sun just start to rise behind the looming grey clouds. It's watery yellow light shining weakly on the lush green canopy of Forks. Right then, I knew that today was going to be the worst day of my life.


	3. Comfort

**A/N:**

**Mixing things up a bit this chapter... am starting with a Bella POV**

**Try not to be brought down by this chapter. Is a little *fluffy*, a little sad, but gets better towards the end I promise. And the next chapter is going to be goooood – I can feel it in my bones :P**

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Three

Bella POV

I had fallen asleep. I didn't realise I had done so, until I opened my eyes and saw that the sun was sinking low on the horizon. I felt so guilty, how could I have fallen asleep and forgotten about her? The little one that was no longer with me. I hated Carlisle at that moment. I couldn't even comprehend what he had done.

Worst of all, I hated Edward. I hated him most of all. He may not have been able to read my mind, but he knew how precious our baby was to me. How could he have let Carlisle do that to me? It was all his fault. If Edward truly loved me, he would have protected me. Wouldn't he?

My guilt tripled as I thought about Edward. After everything, I knew that I couldn't really hate him. Not ever. They were just words. I would always love him. He was my everything. The only problem left in my head was... how could I forgive him? How could I ever be okay with what he had done?

I turned onto my aching side and buried my head into my pillow. I let grief take control as I began to sob unrelenting tears into the soft white down.

As my body shuddered, gasping for breath, I heard the bedroom door open. So silently that I thought I might have imagined it.

Quickly, I wiped the mess from my face as I turned to glare at the intruder. To shout at them for having entered. But, on seeing who my visitor was, the only noise I could produce was a pathetic whimper. I couldn't even say her name, though Esme knew exactly what I was going through.

"Hush, now. Dry your eyes." She leaned over the bed and kissed me softly on top of my head. Even through the mess that was my hair, I could feel her tenderness.

"Mom," I whispered. Even though she was no Renee, Esme had always been there for me. Always like a mother. Now, I guess she sort of was by marriage. She had always made me feel like I belonged... now I needed her again. To try and pick up the pieces the way only a mother could.

"It's okay Bella, honey, I'm here." She scooped me up into her arms and began to cradle me gently. As if I were her real baby. She had always made do with substitue children, and I was sure that I was going to be the same.

"What am I going to do without her?" I wailed. I wasn't even ashamed of my outburst. Esme was the only person in the world I knew to talk to right now, and I was so glad that she was with me

"Hush now," she repeated as her gentle rocking continued. Holding me as if she was so much bigger than me. "I never did tell you about my baby, did I?" I knew it was rhetorical, but I shook my head anyways. "Oh, he was perfect Bella. My precious angel. You should have seen him..." I saw a wistful look glaze over her eyes as she stared into the distance and recounted her tale.

"What was his name?" I sniffed, thinking I was calming. Though the reminder that my child was unnamed caused me to sob once more.

"Thomas. Little Thomas. He had the biggest blue eyes you ever did see..." Esme took a deep breath. "But then, those vile nurses snatched him away from me. Told me he was too small. I cried out. I tried to tell them that he was perfect. That he would be fine if he stayed with his mother. But they didn't listen..." She stared into my watery eyes and began to stroke my unkempt hair. "I never saw him again after that. The doctor came in and told me that his lungs had been too small, he hadn't developed properly. That there must have been something wrong with me inside. Back then, they didn't really know what a premature baby was... there was no special equipment to keep him alive... they always blamed the mother." She kissed me on the cheek, then whispered into my ear. "I know that what you're feeling is loss, mixed with betrayal, but it will get better. I promise you. It will."

I didn't want to talk about me anymore. I wanted to hear the rest of Esme's story, to keep my mind occupied. I didn't want to think about my loss... only fill my mind with hers.

"So..." I gulped. "When did you decide to..."

"To kill myself? As soon as they told me Thomas had died. I knew right then that my life was no longer worth living. But I don't want to give you any ideas." She forced a tight smile onto her pained face.

I gasped. Thoughts like that hadn't even entered my mind. I was too cowardly to even approach the idea. Instead, I distracted Esme from this talk and asked another question.

"How did Carlisle find you, then?" I mumbled, trying to control the fountains that had become my eyes. Hoping that Esme's story might have the power to distract me... if only for a little while.

"He was on the night staff at the hospital," Esme sighed. Though, this time, it was not one of pain. "Edward had been visiting him that night, so had told Carlisle my plans. Carlisle may not have been in time to stop me, but a part of me thinks that was meant to be. Fate. Telling me that I may have lost my human life, but I had gained a new one with Carlisle. The real love of my life. I had never felt that way about my husband, though I am sorry he had to grieve for me and little Thomas at the same time..."

"Esme..." I interrupted.

"Yes, honey?"

"After this, I don't have a new life to start. I already have my true love. So, how will things ever get better?"

Esme clearly did not know the answer as she held me tighter in her arms and pulled my face into her comfortable marble shoulder.

"Esme..." I murmured from her embrace.

"Yes, honey?" I could feel her sigh beneath me.

"When Edward comes back could you... could you, um, tell him..." my tears had started to flow again, but I had to finish my request. "Could you tell him I don't want to see him right now?"

"Sure, honey." Esme whispered as she continued to soothingly stroke my long brown hair.

Jacob POV

It was evening. It had taken me much less time to get home. I supposed that was because I wasn't running away... I was running towards. I could say something cheesy like 'I was running towards my destiny', but that is way too cliche. I'll just stick with, I was running towards a new purpose.

The sun was just starting to set when I reached my house. I knew Leah would be there, I had told her to stay with Billy and to let him know I was coming home. But I was slightly surprised to see her, waiting outside, a half smile resting on her full lips. She always looked so much better when she smiled.

As I neared her, I dodged to the side and into some bushes. To change. Luckily, the khaki pants I had tied to my leg had stayed stuck there; so I wouldn't be embarrassed when I emerged in front of the only member of my pack. I may have seen her naked before, but there was more of us then. This would have been way too... awkward.

"Hey, Leah. What's doing?" I smiled as I walked towards her. I held out my arms to give her a bear hug, but she dodged me quickly.

"Nice to see you too, Jake. But I'd rather be embraced when you didn't smell so bad." She wrinkled her nose and laughed. "Billy's dying to see you, he hasn't stopped fussing all day. You'd better get in there and show him you're still really alive. Or he'll kill me for lying to him!"

"Sure sure." I laughed as I ran up the steps to my front door.

I was about to grab the handle, when it turned without me. The door swung open to reveal a beaming Billy. I didn't think his smile could get any wider, but it did as he held open his arms.

"I thought I heard you, son," his voice cracked as a tear sprung from the corner of one of his leathery eyes.

"Aw, Dad, c'mon. You're embarrassing me in front of my pack." I nodded my head in Leah's direction, only to notice her smirking at me. I almost growled, until I saw another tear leak from Billy's eye.

"Give your old man a hug, boy. I don't care if you do smell like shit." Billy laughed.

As I bent down and grabbed his broad frame, I realised why Billy was acting so weird. He was proud of me. Wow. I wasn't expecting that. Anger for running, sure. Maybe even disappointment for letting down Sam. But not pride. I had only ever seen him like this a few times. The most obvious being at my sister's wedding when he gave her away.

"Let's get inside, before you rust." I said as sternly as I could when I noticed the angry black clouds that were swarming on the horizon, though I couldn't do it justice as my smile gave me away.

"Yeah, son. Get Leah. We need to talk plans."

"Plans for what, Dad?"

"For you getting your own pack."

"Haven't I already got that?"

"Not completely. A pack can't just have one member, Jake. What kind of protectors would you be to us?" Billy was being as serious as he could in his beaming state.

"Sure sure, Dad. I'll get Leah. But, before we talk tactics... can I have a shower?"

"Yes. Go. Get under some water. And don't forget the soap!" Billy called as I was already half way up the stairs. I heard Leah laughing at me from the front door, but I couldn't give a damn. I was home.


	4. Betrayal

**A/N:**

**This is for those people who have been waiting to see some conflict, the same people who are mad at Edward for what he has done.**

**And especially for Jezzeria, who is 21 today. Happy Birthday, fellow crackfic-er! Another chapter of my newest fanfic 'The Wolves Descend' is coming as soon as I can for you! So, probably tomorrow :P**

**Keep showing the love, everyone. The responses have been amazing. And to think, I only made my fanfic account last Monday!**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Chapter Four

_Jacob POV_

There hadn't been much talking involved with Billy's plans. Not that I expected anything different. Billy wasn't the best at sharing.

But, before I knew it, he had arranged a meeting with Sam. We had barely said a few words to each other when I saw Billy pick up the phone. He had said a brief 'hello' and asked Sam to meet Leah and me at the beach.

That's where I found myself headed. La Push beach. It was now nearing eleven in the night, not that I felt tired or anything. I just wanted to chill out at home and come to terms with everything. But, no. I was headed for a meeting of the Alphas. This should be fun...

I smelled his scent before I saw his silhouette against the brief flushes of pink that still blazed on the horizon. He stood on the rocky shore, arms folded, a stoic statue awaiting my arrival.

"Jacob." Sam nodded once, his tone laced with what can only be described as betrayal.

"Hey, you okay?" I tried to lighten the mood. Though it didn't seem to have worked.

"I'm fine, yourself?" I knew he was only asking out of courteousy.

"Yeah, I'm cool... So, what's supposed to happen at one of these things?" As soon as I had said it, I felt like an idiot. My immaturity clearly obvious as opposed to Sam. The responsible one. The real pack leader.

I never should have left. Stupid bloodsuckers. It was all their fault. I needed to have a serious talk with Bella as soon as I could get away, or get past her set of bodyguards. Known formerly as the Cullens.

"I'm either supposed to stand down... or we fight." Sam's tone was deadly. I knew he wasn't fooling around.

"Oh." It was all I could think to say. "But I don't want to fight you." I looked at my bare feet. I had never felt so uncomfortable in my entire life. Not even confronting Bella's bloodsucker. I didn't want to do this, Sam was like my brother.

"Well..." I barely heard Sam as he began to speak. "Jacob," I looked up when he'd said my name, "you're lucky then."

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm not going to fight you, either."

"So, how do we resolve this?"

"I'm joining your new pack. I'm standing down..." Sam looked lost for a second, but quickly composed himself. "You are the only Alpha now."

I couldn't think of anything to say. There was nothing I could say. Taking the initiative, I strode towards Sam and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered.

"Don't." He commanded. But I didn't have to listen anymore... because I was now Pack Alpha.

"Hey, Sam?" I let him escape from my embrace.

"What?" His voice was kind of bitter.

"Would you be my Beta?"

"That's Leah's role."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Leah was the second to join your pack, Jacob. She is officially your Beta. But I would be honored to be her stand in... if you would like..." he was unsure.

"There would be nothing I would like more." I sniffed and quickly pulled him into another hug, so he couldn't see the tears that had started to leak from my eyes.

I slung my arm around Sam's shoulders and we headed away from the beach. Suddenly, my arm was hanging in midair as Sam sprinted in front of me. He stripped of his clothes in under ten seconds and changed in the blink of an eye. Grinning, I followed suit. Though I was painfully aware at the difference in Sam's graceful change and my disorganised mess. But I couldn't care.

As soon as my fur engulfed my body, I heard them. The guys. They were back. I grinned a wolfy grin to myself as I loped towards Sam. The roles may have been reversed, but I was glad to be back. Glad to have everyone in my head again. I knew I should savor this moment, I would soon get fed up of them all. But, for now, I was happy. We were together. And Sam's eyes no longer held faint traces of betrayal.

_Bella POV_

The gentle tapping had been annoying me for over ten minutes. Why wouldn't he give up? I knew Esme was telling him to leave, but he was no longer taking any notice of her mind. He wanted in... and I knew, eventually, I would let him.

Grumbling to myself, I pulled myself out of Esme's arms and hauled myself out of bed. The stitches in my stomach groaned as I limped to the bedroom door, but I wouldn't let a little thing like pain get in my way right now. Now blood, that was a different matter. If I saw blood, that could stop me.

I stopped thinking of deterrents as I hauled the bedroom door open as hard as my frail arm could manage. I was surprised at the slight dent that had been made in the opposite wall, but tried to ignore the damage as I concentrated my anger at the person standing in front of me. The one that had made my life so much better, and now had made it so much worse.

"What don't you get about me not wanting to see you?" I avoided looking into his golden eyes, knowing that it was a surefire way to break my resolve.

"Bella, love, I had to see you."

"But what about what I want, Edward?" I had started to scream now, but I didn't care. "You never seem to care about what I want!"

That remark had hurt him. I saw him flinch away from the words I had spoken, but his discomfort was another thing to be ignored. Right now, all I wanted was to upset him. Though I couldn't think of any ways to make him feel bad, not anything that equated to what he had done to me.

"That isn't true..."

"Don't you dare try and defend yourself!" I looked up at him now, wanting to see the defeat on his face. Needing it. Sick as it sounds, I wanted him in pain. I loved him... but he had to suffer.

"Bella, please, let me explain..."

"I've heard enough damn explanations for one day! Just get the hell away from me, Edward. I really don't want to speak to you right now."

"When will you want to speak to me?" His voice was pitiful, though I couldn't find any part of me that cared.

"Let's just say I don't see it happening in the near future. Ask Alice. I'm sure she will tell you the same thing." I tried to slam the door in his face, but he caught the impact with his hand.

"I love you, Bella. Please. Don't ever forget that. I couldn't bear it if you thought I didn't love you."

"Stop. Stop talking right now. I can't do this. Just go."

He hung his head and strode down the corridor. This time when I tried to slam the door, it made a satisfying thud as it came into contact with the frame. I would have smiled at my newfound satisfaction, but it hurt too much. My stomach was burning.

I clutched at my stomach through my nightgown and hobbled back to bed. Before I climbed up, a wave of dizziness hit me hard. I let my hands drop from my stomach so I could grab hold of the edge of the bed.

"Bella, oh Bella!" Esme's panicked voice barely reached me through the pain.

"What?" I mumbled as I looked down at the mattress where my hands were firmly clamped. The dizziness then left as suddenly as it had come. I lifted my hands to wrap them firmly around my stomach once more, when I noticed they were covered in blood. As soon as I saw it, the metallic tang hit my nostrils.

"Carlisle!" I heard Esme yell as I passed out.


	5. All Of A Sudden

**A/N:**

**Just Jacob POV this time... it's all you guys will be able to handle by the end :P**

**Bella will definitely have her own little spot in the next chapter, don't worry! Got a few ideas I need to put into words.**

**Let me know what you think of this turn of events and I will get started on the next installment as soon as humanly possible. Ah, if only I were a Cullen...**

_**I own nothing to do with Twilight etc. Had to put this in as I feel I don't make it clear enough!**_

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Chapter Five

_Jacob POV_

The sound of the phone ringing stirred me from what I can only describe as an uncomfortable sleeping position. Tangled up with the pack after a night of, well, frolicking. We had chased each other round the Rez until at least five in the morning. Now, we were all packed into my living room. Me... and my pack.

I smiled as I stretched and lumbered toward the still annoying ringing.

"Hello?" I rubbed the back of my neck as I growled into the phone.

I heard a sharp intake of breath before I heard the questioning reply. "Jacob?" It was a bloodsucker. Of that I was certain.

"What?" My tone became sharper. "What do you want?" Though I already knew from the tone that something was wrong.

"Can you come and see Bella today?"

"What's wrong?" They suddenly had my attention. "Who is this?"

"It's Esme, Carlisle's wife. We think that it would be very beneficial for Bella's recovery if you would come to our home today. As soon as possible."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

I slammed the phone down and was about to head upstairs, until I saw Leah. Sitting bolt upright in the midst of the pack, looking at me with disapproving eyes.

"What?" I growled.

"Are you seriously going to see that bitch?"

"Leah! What the hell is your problem?" I turned my back on her and stormed to my room.

"My problem is Isabella Swan." I hadn't even heard her follow me up the stairs.

"Well, why should you care? You've barely even spoken to Bella!" I emphasized her name as I hissed at my annoying Beta. If she wasn't a girl, I would've hit her. I knew she had enough power to take it, but I couldn't ever bring myself to hit a girl. No matter how freaking annoying.

"I care because she is ruining you!" Leah screamed. I never knew she cared so much. Though I was too angry now. We both were. Our bodies had begun to shake.

"You'd better get out of my room, Leah. Right now." I didn't use my mind to command her, I was too busy trying to control my anger.

But Leah didn't move. She continued to shake right in front of me.

I don't know how long we stood like that, standing shaking and staring... all I knew was that I wasn't calming down. Calm seemed a long way off for me after all that Leah had said.

"I said... Go now..." I snarled through gritted teeth, still unable to give her the proper order.

"Don't you see..." She snarled back. "Everything was... good before... that call..."

I couldn't speak anymore. I could only growl. So now, along with the standing and shaking and staring, me and Leah were both growling at each other.

"You... are... way... too... good... for... her..." she spat through clenched teeth.

Before I knew it, Leah had launched herself at me. She didn't change, but I knew that we couldn't contain ourselves much longer. I also knew that, when we did change, I wouldn't hurt Leah. She would end up killing me...

At least, I thought I knew this.

That was, until I hit the floor. Then, I had very different ideas. Leah's lips were firmly planted against mine. Hot and firm, yet soft and welcoming. I kissed her back. I kissed her like there was no tomorrow... until I realised what the hell I was doing.

I quickly pushed Leah off me and scooted as far backwards as I could. I still squirmed even when my back was against the base of my bed and there was nowhere else to go.

Leah was on her knees in front of me, panting. She glanced up. A blush spread suddenly up her neck and across her face. Dropping her head and jumping to her feet, she headed for the stairs. And I couldn't do a thing to stop her. I didn't know what to do.

I heard the front door slam and Leah's footsteps as she ran across my pebbled driveway, but still I did not move. All thoughts of Bella replaced by Leah as I wondered what the hell had just happened.


	6. Making Plans

**A/N:**

**I hope you like this one guys. It has been begging me to write it for a while. Let me know what you think of the developments :P**

**Also, just a little plug (shameless, I know); but check out the fanfic 'What in the -Ward!' by jezzeria. I did a guest spot for chapter six, let me know how I did!**

_I own none of the rights to Twilight etc... but you guys know that already. Let's all thank Stephenie Meyer for bringing us together like this :)_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Chapter Six

_Bella POV_

The world was blurry when I opened my eyes. I couldn't remember what the hell had happened, or even where I was. Why did this seem to be a recurring theme?

"Bella? Oh, Bella!" Someone was speaking to me. I barely heard them, it was as if they were so far away... I didn't want them to be far away... I didn't want to be alone.

"Help," I mewled. I had tried to shout, but it was impossible. My throat was too dry.

"Shh, it's all going to be okay. I promise." A hand was placed onto my forehead. It was so warm. I leaned into the feeling, not remembering being so warm in a long time.

I stared in the direction of where the voice was coming and tried to make them out. I rubbed my eyes, hoping to eradicate the blind film that was shrouding me. When I looked again, it wasn't who I had been expecting. This person wasn't who I needed.

"Jacob," I sighed.

"Yes, Bells. Oh, God. When they called I had been so worried, but now you're awake. I'm so glad you're awake." He leaned forward and wrapped his huge arms around me, holding me close to his warm body. I wasn't sure how he managed it without smothering me.

"Where is he?" It was the only thing I needed to know.

"Who?"

"Edward. Where is he?"

"Do you want to see him now?" Jacob was unsure. Obviously thinking I must be crazy, or that I didn't remember. But he was wrong. I remembered everything.

"Yes. Where is he?"

"Just outside... I'll call him for you now."

I guessed that Jacob must have called him with his mind, because I didn't hear another word pass from him lips before Edward had sailed into the room and gracefully placed himself on the opposite side of the bed to Jacob.

"Bella, love. How are you feeling?"

"I'll survive." It was all I could say. I couldn't tell him how heartbroken I really was. All I could do was cling onto the brief hope that Esme had given me. That, one day, this too would pass.

Edward leaned forward and took me in his arms. A colder and more powerful embrace than I had just experienced. His scent overwhelmed me, reminding me of all that I had missed; because, deep down, I had missed him. He was my everything.

"Do you need anything?" He breathed quickly, before planting a delicate kiss on my forehead.

"Could I have a moment alone with Jacob? Just before he leaves?"

"Anything for you." His cold hand softly traced the side of my face, then he was gone. Disappearing faster than my eyes could follow.

"What do you need, Bells?" Jacob's heat replaced the cool touch on my face as he leaned closer to me. Helpful as ever.

"I need you to meet me later. In the forest." A plan was forming in my head. Something that I had to do. Edward wouldn't approve, if anything he would be hurt... but that was the point.

"Why? You can't even get out of bed."

"Yes, I can. I need to. Just... meet me?" I was desperate.

"Okay, okay." He sighed. "I will be there."

"Promise?"

"Sure sure." And with that, he left.

As I sat, alone in the room, wondering when Edward would return, I hoped that Jacob could keep his thoughts masked until he left the Cullen mansion. I knew my mind wouldn't be the problem as far as Edward went... I only hoped Alice didn't see my plans. Silently, I prayed that Jacob's involvement would cloud her vision. If not, I was completely and utterly screwed.

_Jacob POV_

I had no idea what she was planning, no idea why I'd gone to her in the first place. At least now, it was Bella's face in my mind and not Leah's. That situation was way too confusing. I needed the distraction, and was thankful for the one Bella had brought.

During the day, the thoughts of those in my pack had faded in and out of my mind... all but one. Leah was a no show. She was obviously hiding, obviously human still. Probably not wanting the others to find out about what had happened, which was exactly why I had yet to phase.

Why was life so complicated?

A part of me didn't want to see Bella tonight, just wanted to find Leah and get her to explain what the hell was going on in her head. But another, more dominant, part yelled at me for even considering such a thing.

I was starting to hate being the Alpha... but only a little.

Instead of worrying, I focused on tonight. On Bella. I had to tell the pack what I was doing, or they might worry. Worse still, they might even try to find me. And I couldn't let that happen. Not when Bella was already in such a fragile state.

I ran into my back yard, discarding my clothes as I ran, then phased. I howled into the air and commanded that my pack all change too. Quick as a flash, their minds were one with me. They had phased. This power thing was weird... but I was starting to get the hang of it. Plus, it came in handy.

"_Hey, guys." _I addressed them all, ignoring the slight growl of the only pack female in the background.

"_What's doing, Jake?" _Sam spoke first.

"_Hey, Jake!" _Quil and Embry chorused.

Everyone said their greetings to one another, and a few trivial pieces of gossip were shared. I was glad when Leah's mind stayed as silent as I was trying to make mine.

"_Right, guys." _I called them to order. _"I just wanted to have a quick word as I have an important meeting tonight and didn't want anyone to worry where I was."_

"_Where are you going?" _Seth's voice was inquisitive. I had to be honest, but without giving too much away.

"_It's her, isn't it?"_ Leah growled. _"You're going to see that bloodsucker bitch."_

"_Leah, step off. I don't need this shit off you right now."_ I had to command her to shut up, so she didn't give us away to the pack. _"Yes, I'm going to see Bella. That's why I don't want you to come looking for me. She needs help, the pack's help, so I told her I would meet her and discuss the problem before involving anyone else. I'm not sure what she wants, and if it's pointless then I don't want to waste our time with it. So, I wasn't going to bother anyone with all this until I knew what she wanted from us. Is that okay with everyone?" _

I wasn't really giving them a choice. Though a part of me dared Leah with my words. If she had a problem with this, I didn't care. This was just something I had to do. Sam had never explained himself to the pack this thoroughly, and I hated that I felt I had to; but it was good, in a way, as I didn't feel like I was keeping things from them. This was a good thing.

"_Sounds good, man. No worries. Let us know what's doing afterwards." _Sam was effectively calling this meeting to an end. Even though he was no longer in charge, I was still thankful of his subtle guidance.

"_Yeah, I'll see you guys later. Now, go and relax."_ It wasn't an order, but I felt each one of them phase out. Until there was only one left.

"_Don't go to her..."_ Leah was practically begging me.

"_Leah, I don't know what your problem is. You've been avoiding me all day. But you can't just demand now that I blow off a friend. She needs me."_

"_But you don't think of her as a friend..." _It was an accusation.

"_So what if I don't? Isn't that more my problem than yours?" _She was getting on my last nerve. I hated when she brought up my unrequited feelings for Bella.

"_Where are you, Jake?"_ She was speaking softly, as if trying not to cry.

"_I'm in the woods behind my house. Why?"_

"_Can I come and see you? Please?"_

"_Sure sure," _I sighed. _"But, can you make it quick? I have somewhere I have to be."_

"_I know..." _Leah trailed off and mimicked my earlier sigh.

I knew she was running now. Even the voice in her mind was breathing heavily. That was always the way. And the echoing sound of her paws thundering across the soft earth was being transferred from her head to mine.

Phasing back, and grabbing my discarded shorts, I waited. Not knowing what for, but hoping it would be worth it. Or, at the very least, an insight.

The sounds of Leah's running were no longer in my head, telling me she had changed. And before long, I saw her. Emerging from the undergrowth and pulling a purple summer dress over her lean body. I tried not to stare as she covered her nakedness and stood before me, defiantly.

"Jacob." She had dropped the nickname. I knew this was going to be a serious talk.

"Leah, what is it?" I wanted to get straight to the point.

"Guys..." she growled. "Are so stupid." The insult popped from her lips.

"At least we don't have random mood swings, kiss people, then avoid them without telling them what the hell is going on in their crazy goddamned minds!" It was a low blow, but it had to be said.

She stepped forward, now barely an arms length away. If I wanted to, I could reach out and touch her face. Smooth out the furrows in her brow. But... did I want that?

"Jacob, you are so dense! Can't you see what's in front of you? What's right for you?" She growled.

"And what would that be, Leah? Share, seeing as you know all the answers all of a sudden."

"Me..." she sighed. Her head dropped, but I still saw the little tear that had leaked out of the corner of her eye. "Why can't you see me?"

Suddenly she brought her head up and stared directly into my eyes. A passionate fire danced in her irises as she waited for her question to be answered. I knew that she was no longer afraid of what I would say.

I also knew, that there was nothing I could say. No words I could find. There was only... confusion.

Taking my silence as some form of admission, Leah launched herself at me. Just like before. We both fell to the ground, our lips pressing furiously against one another. This time, I had been expecting it. This time, I didn't want it to end.

I grabbed her hair roughly, forcing her face closer to my own. Her tongue suddenly snaked into my mouth. Warm and needing. We both wanted this. I struggled to breathe as I remembered something important. There was somewhere I had to be.

Grudgingly, I pushed Leah's face away from mine.

"I have to go..."

"No." She commanded me as she brought her face forward to plant another fierce kiss on my lips.

"But I have to. Even if it is to tell her we can't help."

At that, Leah jumped off me and brushed the mud from the floor off her dress. She extended a hand and pulled me to my feet.

"You tell her that. Tell her you can't help. That you don't want to..."

"I can't tell her I don't want to help, I can't lie." I interrupted.

"It's always going to be her, isn't it?" Leah began to growl once more.

"I have to go..." I ignored her burning question as I retreated. Knowing that I couldn't answer honestly, even if I wanted to. The answer was still unknown, even to me.


	7. Life Changing Desicions

**A/N:**

**Not quite sure** **what to put in this a/n guys, except that I hope you like the update. Keep letting me know what you think :)**

_Oh, and I own none of the rights to Twilight... they all belong to Stephenie Meyer._

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Chapter Seven

_Bella POV_

It had been a nightmare getting out of the house. The Cullens were officially my unwanted bodyguards. But all I had to do was go after their emotions. And I knew exactly how to do that. I felt awful about using Esme's past experiences against her, but it was the only way. Even when Alice got involved, I knew her pity would work to my advantage.

I said I wanted to go outside, that I missed being outside... that I wanted to say goodbye outside. I used my own feelings as my fuel as I began to cry in front of them. They were all too obliging as soon as I started sniffing. I was in the forest in no time.

I hated using my daughter's memory in such a way, though it was necessity and not completely a lie.

Now I was past the river. I couldn't be sure that I wasn't followed, my hearing wasn't nearly good enough to be able to know, but I was certain that Jake would be able to tell me as soon as he showed up.

I didn't know how long I had been waiting. All I knew was that it was starting to get very cold...

Then came the rustling. It wasn't a vampire, the noise was much too loud for it to be a member of my family approaching me. I spun around.

"Jake!" I breathed a sigh of relief. "What took you so long?"

"Sorry, Bella." His head hung low as he continued shambling towards me. The way he had dropped my nickname, I knew something was wrong.

"Is something up, Jake?" I couldn't have him distracted right now. It was too important. He needed to be focused.

"It's nothing, Bella." He looked up and forced a smile.

Whatever was troubling him, he really didn't want to share. So, I wasn't going to be the one to force him. Even though I really wanted to. Instead, I went onto more important things.

"Okay. Well..." I smiled back. "I'm glad you came. I really do need your help."

"What was it you needed? If I can help you, I'll try..." It seemed as though Jacob really didn't want to be around me right now.

"Are you sure you're okay, Jake?"

"Sure sure," he muttered.

"You know you can talk to me about anything... right?" I took a step forward and placed my palm gently onto one of his broad shoulders.

"I just..." he heaved another huge sigh. "I have a lot on my mind right now."

"Well, if you're stressed about something then don't worry about my problems."

I sighed, hating feeling like a brat but needing Jacob's help. As horrible as it sounded, but I didn't want him to back out. His was the only help I could ask, so wished he could focus on me... like he used to.

"No, I'll stay. What do you need?" I grinned up at him, glad he hadn't backed out.

Part of me wished that I could take back my previous thoughts, that I wanted Jacob to treat me like he used to... But a part of me didn't want to take them back. What was wrong with me?

"I need you to come with me."

"Where?" His face frowned as he looked at me in confusion.

"To Italy."

_Jacob POV_

Her words didn't make sense to me. Why did she want to go to Italy? What could she possibly want over there? I had to ask...

"Why Italy?"

"I can't tell you much, otherwise it would get you into trouble. But, basically, there is this really old vampire family over there. And, if I pay them a visit... they might turn me..."

"What!" I exploded. I couldn't help it. Nor could I bear the idea of Bella becoming a filthy bloodsucker.

"It will hurt Edward if I'm turned... also if I'm not turned by him. It is the only revenge I can have..."

"Why do you need revenge? Are you suicidal? What the hell has happened to make you think like this?"

I was starting to feel like there was a huge piece of Bella's life that I had been kept out of. I may have been invited to the mansion which acted as the headquarters for the freakish clan of vampires, but I wasn't told why Bella had fainted... and now I was starting to wonder what the hell had happened to make her so mad at them all.

This was starting to make me angry... things weren't going well...

"I was pregnant, Jake..." She whispered, tears pooling in her eyes.

"What?" I whispered back, not sure of what I was hearing. Ignoring how uncomfortable she was obviously feeling with this subject, like the idiot I was.

"I was pregnant..." she sniffed as she repeated herself.

"What. The. Fuck."

It wasn't a question. I had heard her loud and clear. At that point, I couldn't process her sadness... or her use of the past tense when she spoke. All I could think was that the disgusting creature she had married had used her, defiled her, infected her...

"Jake..."

I didn't know she had come towards me until I felt her soft hand on my bare arm. Without thinking, I shrugged her off and backed away. I couldn't have her touching me right now. I was shaking badly enough without her interference.

Then, I heard a voice. Not one I was expecting, but one that was so very welcome.

"_Jake.."_ She almost purred the welcome as her voice entered my mind. Filling every available space with thoughts of her. Controlling everything that seemed to be going wrong...

"_Leah."_ I smiled inwardly as I welcomed her presence. _"How did you know I needed you?"_

"_Would it be weird if I told you that I followed you?"_

"_Kind of... but thank you."_

"_It's okay,"_ she breathed. _"I saw you needed help, so changed."_

"_Have you..."_

"_Yeah, I heard everything."_

She continued talking to me, even though she knew I wasn't going to respond. All I needed was someone to be there for me, and I knew that it would always be Leah. I also knew that she heard me think that, she gave herself away when she giggled. I couldn't help grinning.

"Are you okay?" It was Bella. Bringing me back to an unfortunate reality.

"I am now." As I said it, I realised it was true.

"So, can you help me?"

"I can come with you to the airport... but that's as far as I can go."

Her face dropped at my admission, but I wasn't sorry. I didn't even feel as if I had to explain anything to her. Something had shifted between us; but I couldn't even begin to examine the changes until Leah's presence had left my mind.

"Please, Jake... I need you..."

I felt my resolve start to crumble around the same time as Leah's soft growls began to resonate in my head. Bella's begging and Leah's anger combined were a toxic and confusing force.

"_Leah, I need you to change back now." _It was a request. I couldn't find it in me to force her, after she had gone through so much to be with me. _"You can stay where you are, wait for me for when I'm done... but I need to have my mind to myself for a second..."_

"_Okay, but you better be quick." _She grumbled as she quickly left.

I turned my attention back to my best friend. The one I would no longer jump through hoops for. I may be a werewolf, but I was not some trained lap dog. And Bella needed to realise that.

"I can't come with you to Italy, Bells. My place is here."

"But..." she sniffed.

"No." I interrupted.

I had to muster up all the force that was in me. This was going to be hard... To soften the blow, I walked towards her and pulled her into my arms. I knew Leah wouldn't like this from where she was watching, but it simply had to be done.

"Bells," I whispered as I began softly stroking her hair. "I am the Alpha now. The pack needs me. I can't just up and leave to go on some death mission with you to Italy. I love you, but I will not watch you destroy yourself."

I heard a sharp intake of breath from Bella as my words hit their target.

"Do you understand? You chose your life... you can't come back now it isn't working out the way you planned." Again, she took another sudden breath.

Eventually, she stirred from my embrace. She pulled her head back from my arms and looked into my eyes. I found it so hard not to take back everything I had just said, but I knew it was for the best. I hated that term, 'for the best'. What a crock! Unfortunately, it was true.

"When can we go to the airport?" She smiled sadly up at me, looking disturbingly defeated.

"Is now good for you? Do you have everything you need?"

"Now is good." She grinned. "I'm wearing two sets of clothes and some of Edward's money is in my pocket. Let's go."

I wrapped my arm around her tiny shoulders and led her away from Leah's hiding place, in the direction of the Rez. I would need to pick up my Rabbit so I could drive her. As we walked, I heard a voice enter my head once more.

"_So... it seems you've made a decision, Jacob Black."_

"_I have, Leah Clearwater. And it seems that the decision is you."_


	8. Can't Bear Loosing You

**A/N:**

**This one is slightly longer, and this is set to become a trend I promise. For the rest of these chapters there is a lot to be said, so your crackfic doses will become a little larger. Trust me, that's a good thing.**

**Beware of slight fluff and so forth. **

**Oh, and just a little rant. I've heard that people are going to start to charge for their fanfics and I think this is downright disgusting. Fanfics, through use of well known characters, are basically public property. For people to ENJOY! NOT to make money off. I would hate it if someone like Stephenie Meyer or whatever turned around and told everyone on this site that we were no longer allowed to write fanfics because of the jackasses that want to charge! This is downright stupid and unfair for the rest of us! Think of others, not yourselves, and keep the world of fanfiction a happy one. Like this :) see?**

_All of the names below belong exclusively to Stephenie Meyer. I just want to thank her for letting me use them. And I hope that I can use them for a long time to come (as I want fanfics to live on foeverrrrrrrrrr!)_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Eight.

_Bella POV_

The car ride was awkward. Every last damn second of it. It was almost as if something had changed. Something shifted between me and Jacob. And I didn't like it. I was beginning to feel really uncomfortable around him.

Something was different.

We were almost at the airport, past Port Angeles, when he uttered his first words since the forest. They came completely out of nowhere.

"Will I ever see you again?"

He kept his eyes trained onto the road in front of him as he spoke. At first, I didn't even realise he was speaking to me. It took a while for his words to register.

Even when I had understood, I didn't know what to tell him. How could I lie and not tell my best friend that I might never be coming back home? I knew what to do, the only thing I could do now. He may not be the guy I was in love with, but I loved him. I had to be honest.

"I don't think so, Jake."

I had to stare at my hands clenched tightly in my lap as I spoke. I didn't dare look at him in case I broke down. That was something I couldn't afford to do. If I was in a state, Jake would take me home. And I didn't want to go home... I didn't even know where that was for me anymore.

"Oh," he sighed.

"Yeah..."

I wasn't sure what to say, but I wanted to keep him talking. I didn't want to loose how we were. I needed him to be my Jake before I left, so I could remember the way we were. So I had something good to get me through.

"Don't go..."

It was barely a whisper. I wasn't sure I heard it right.

"What?"

"Don't go!" He yelled it now, knuckles clenched tightly around the steering wheel.

"I have to..." The tears were starting to form in my eyes.

"No!" Jacob was starting to shake violently. "You don't! Just come with me! Away from your filthy bloodsucker! I don't care what he's done to you! You can't go!"

"You can't stop me, Jake..." I sniffed. Trying desperately to control my emotions.

"I... bloody... well... can..." he gritted through clenched teeth.

"Calm down, Jake. Just, breathe."

I begged him. Even my eyes pleaded, but the side of his head didn't see my attempt. He was too caught up now, lost. His hand quickly flicked to the indicator as he turned into the lay-by.

As soon as the car was still, Jake wrenched open his car door and flung himself into the night. I could see the clothes being thrown behind him as he ran. There wasn't anything I could do now except wait, and maybe collect some of Jacob's clothes from the tree branches in the scattering of trees next to me.

Sighing, I pulled the driver door shut and swung myself out to follow my best friend. Why did things have to be so difficult?

I could feel the bandages I'd hastily wrapped around my stomach pull as I stretched out, on my tiptoes, to grab Jacob's discarded belongings. I had managed to just about get hold of his shorts when I heard a little yelp from the bushes beside me.

"Could you, um, pass them here please?" He sounded embarrassed.

I handed him his clothes without a word and made my way back to his car. If I couldn't say another thing to him this whole journey, then so be it. The only thing that mattered now was getting to the airport. I couldn't put up with any more dramatic outbursts.

He climbed in the car, averted his eyes quickly when I caught him looking at my face, then started the engine with a click. I saw the slight shake that remained in his hands, but he seemed in control of whatever was going through his mind.

Before long, I was at the airport. Alone. Leaving Jacob without a hug, goodbye or backwards glance. Knowing that, if anyone could change my mind, it would be him. Though, he seemed resigned to the fact that I was leaving. As if he either didn't care or simply didn't want to fight. Whichever was the truth, I was thankful. Even without him speaking, I could feel the tears once more make their appearance.

The next flight to Europe was in half an hour. At one in the morning. It must have been fate. I would get my transfer in London to Paris, then it was Paris to Rome; but that was the best of all my options.

I paid the annoying woman at the check-in desk, who didn't seem to believe a young lady would go on holiday without any luggage, then waited. My feet itched to keep moving as soon as my ass had hit the chair, but I tried to ignore the urge.

Until it got too much. I had to pace, or something, to keep my mind occupied. I kept thinking about Edward, about what this would do to Edward... but wasn't that the point? So, I got up and began looking through the many bookstores inside the airport complex. That was, up until my flight was called. Boarding from gate eight.

I flashed my passport, that I had stashed inside my jeans, and got to my seat with no problems. I was on my way. And there was nothing that any of the Cullens could do to stop me. I was thankful that their freakish vampire speed was nothing compared to modern travel technology.

_Jacob POV_

When she walked away from me in the airport parking lot, it felt as if she was taking a part of me with her. And I knew then that there always would be a place in my heart that never got over my feelings for Isabella Swan. My Bella.

She would always trigger my emotions, like in the car when I had to escape to the sanctity of the forest. I wad glad I was alone in my mind at that moment... But, a part of me hated Bella for the hold she had over me. Only a little part, as the bigger part just wanted to keep a tight hold on her and never let her go.

Though that wasn't me anymore. That couldn't be me.

As I saw her beautiful brown hair disappear through the automatic doors, I knew that it was the end. It had to be. Bella was living her life, and I would be damned if I would let her stop me living mine. Especially since I had so much going for me right now...

I turned my back on her, climbed into my car, heaved a sigh, pictured her face one last time, then started the two hour drive home. Trying to keep my mind as blank as I could manage as I leaned toward thoughts of what was to come, instead of what had been.

A part of me felt like mourning the end, but I couldn't bring myself to. Not when there was so much prospect for the future. There may never be me and Bella, but there would be something else. Something different. Something that I was excited to live for.

Leah.

She would be waiting for me when I got back. I knew it. And I couldn't wait to see her again. As my mind suddenly filled with thoughts of her, it got easier to bear the loss. Leah may never replace Bella, but that wasn't the point. They were completely separate. Leah couldn't ever be someone else, she was different. New. Gutsy. Independent. Brave. One of the best kissers I had ever met...

The time was suddenly passing a whole lot quicker.

I was soon back in Forks. Wondering whether I should call a meeting or not. Or if, instead, I just wanted to see her. The one that would be waiting.

But I didn't have much time to think these thoughts.

Suddenly, there was someone in the middle of the road.

Just... standing there. Looking right at me. It was weird. They weren't moving a muscle. I beeped, but nothing. No response. I would have to stop. And, when I did, I noticed the pale and shiny skin in the beams of my headlights.

It was a bloodsucker.

I could so do without this right now...

I didn't know who was waiting, as a hood was pull up over their heads, but I knew they wouldn't move until I got out. It was me they were waiting for. I was sure of that.

Leaving the key in the ignition and the door wide open for a quick escape, I made my way towards the figure. Now, they had their arms crossed across their chest. Trying to look intimidating, as if I really cared.

"What do you want?" I wanted to get this crap over with. The sickly sweet smell was already burning the hell out of my nose.

The figure in front of me pulled down their hood.

I should have guessed.

It was Bella's bloodsucker. Edward.

He strode toward me purposefully, making his stink even more pungent in the air. It was becoming harder to breathe.

"Where is she?" An impressive growl thundered from his throat.

Even when he was mad, his damn voice was enticing. I could see why Bella found it so hard to stay away, they were designed to attract. It was as if it were some freaking spell or something. It was starting to creep me out. At least his smell kept me repulsed.

"Who?" I had to feign innocence, even if it was the end for us.

"You know who I am talking about. Where have you taken her?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I didn't have to share anything his precious bride didn't want me to.

"Alice can't see her future. She keeps thinking about you. I know she met you in the forest tonight. I went looking for her and all I could smell was dog. Now, tell me where you have taken Bella."

He was trying to get in my head, provoke me, get me to give him what he wanted. But I would rather be damned than help him out. Not after all he put Bella through. She deserved so much better.

I avoided thinking about where we had gone, and instead focused on the pain he had caused her. She had told me about the baby, how he had taken it away, how it was all his fault. I could see my thoughts were hitting their target as a look of utter agony passed over his marble features.

"Stop that, dog." He growled once more.

"Why should I? It's all true. She told me so."

"Please," his eyes suddenly became sad. Desperately so. "Just help me find her. I have to make things right."

I sighed. I couldn't keep anything from him. If anything, I needed his help. I didn't want Bella to hurt herself and I knew he would be the only one able to talk some sense into her. She was determined, but if anything could stop her it would be him.

"She's at the airport."

"What?" He began to panic.

"Yeah, the airport."

"Where is she going? Did she tell you that? Jacob, please," he had dropped the insults. He must really be panicking. "Do you know what her destination is?"

"Italy." I sighed once more. "She didn't tell me much because she said it would get me in trouble, but she intends to meet some old vampire family somewhere in Italy."

"No..." it was barely a whisper.

He put a hand to his temple and swayed on his feet. If he fell, would I try to help? I didn't know, all I wanted to see was if a vampire could physically faint. But I didn't get a chance to see, as Edward righted himself and seemed to pull himself together.

"Thank you, so very much Jacob Black." He had suddenly become very formal.

"No problem... Just try and help her, yeah?"

"Of course."

"And, tell me... Whatever happens. I need you to tell me."

"Of course. I think I have your home number written somewhere." He looked uncomfortable. "I have to go, as I'm sure you understand."

"Yeah, right. Well, good luck."

"Thank you. If I get to her, I will owe you her life..."

And with that mysterious comment he was gone. Practically vanishing before my eyes. I would never get used to their speed. I mean, werewolves were one thing but vampires... they were weird.

But, after that conversation, all I could do was worry. What if Bella died? It would be all my fault... Before I could finish my brooding, there was a voice in my head.

"_Jacob Black! What the hell is taking you so long? Get your butt home now! I'll meet you in the forest!"_

As suddenly as it had appeared, it left.

Leah. She was waiting for me. And she had purged all the worry out of me. I got in that damn car and drove as fast as my engine would allow me. I had to meet my lady. Mine.


	9. Worlds Apart

**A/N:**

**Sorry for the slight delay, hope this makes up for it!**

**Starting with a Jacob POV this time, just to give you some variety. And I heard that some of you are interested in the Leah/Jake developments. So, here you go :)**

**Just a small little plug, not shameless at all (honest!), but I am starting writing a fanfiction with jezzeria called ****'Satin and Revolvers'****. Keep on the lookout for it! Is set to be interesting at the very least!**

**Have to put in a quick apology here, as this chapter has increased the rating of my story. I put it as T, but have to change it to M! Hope that doesn't put some people off.**

_Stephenie Meyer owns all that is Twilight etc._

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Chapter Nine.

_Jacob POV_

I slammed the car into park, sprinted up to my house, shouted a quick hello to Billy through the closed front door and made my way to the forest as fast as I could manage. I knew Leah wasn't in her other form, there was no voice in my head. But I only just stopped myself from discarding my clothes as I ran.

It was a hard habit to break.

Suddenly, I found myself wondering what Leah would do if I did run towards her practically naked. I had to laugh out loud. Her face would be priceless.

Then, she was there. In that same purple summer dress that hugged her curves and flattered her figure. I couldn't help remembering seeing what was underneath. Even though it had only been brief, it had been enough.

"What are you so happy about?"

I was obviously still grinning at the image as I wandered into the small clearing.

"I'm seeing you, of course."

A little flattery goes a long way, or so Billy had once told me. It seemed he was right, as Leah's cheeks turned fuchsia and a wide grin spread across her tanned face. She began tucking hair behind her ear, a nervous gesture, as she tried to disguise her embarrassment.

But I liked this side of her. The vulnerable side, the tender side. Leah could be a bitch, but those blushes told me there was something more; and I couldn't wait to figure it all out.

I walked up to her, held her shaking hands to her side and willed her to look up at me. It took a few seconds, but she inhaled a deep breath and looked up at me from beneath her lashes. She looked more sexy than shy as she blinked up at me, causing my breath to hitch in my throat.

Literally, she was beginning to take my breath away.

I was seeing more now than I ever had before. I was seeing clearer than I had in years.

Leah still had feelings for Sam, there was always the odd moment in her mind that gave her away, and I still had feelings for Bella. Though we both knew that neither of our situations could be resolved.

I used to think that I would end up alone. After Bella's wedding, it was all I wanted.

But, now, it was as if I was being given a second chance. And I so wasn't going to blow it. Every time I saw Leah these past few days, it was as if I was being introduced to a different person. With every second that passed, I could see a future. One with her. It may not have been my first choice, but now it was my only choice.

Settled for second.

Though, was I really settling? It didn't feel like. Instead, it was as if I was getting everything I had ever wanted; albeit in a slightly different package.

She continued to look up at me from beneath her lashes, the gold flecks around the irises of her hazel eyes shining in the early morning light.

Carefully, I let go of one of her arms and cupped her face with my palm; while my other hand trailed down to clasp onto hers. She was still shaking slightly as I leaned down and pressed my lips softly to her slightly parted mouth.

It was unlike any of the other kisses we had shared for two reasons. First being that I was the one initiating it, second being that it was gentle. It was a kiss that promised so much. I just hoped that I could give her everything she needed.

Leah slid her hand out from between my fingers, leaving me with a cold air replacement, and instead wrapped both arms around my shoulders. Pulling herself closer to me. Deepening the kiss. Slowly, I curved my hands around her waist and hoisted her into the air.

She clung onto me tighter, her breasts pushed hard up against my chest. I wound one hand in her hair as she wrapped her lithe legs around my hips.

As soon as she was secure the kiss became more fiery, passionate, needing. Mouths parted to make room for tongues while we gripped onto each other, vice like. I couldn't ever imagine being separated from her in this moment. I never wanted it to end.

Though it did. Leah wrenched her lips away and looked at me with remorse. As she steadied her breathing, she leaned her forehead against my own. I was about to loosen my grip, when Leah tightened hers.

"Don't..." she pleaded.

"What?"

"Don't... let me go..."

I squeezed her tight and place a small kiss on her lips, lightly brushing the swollen pink flesh. She closed her eyes and sighed. As soon as the sound left her mouth, I got hard. Wanting her so bad.

This time, when I kissed her, I kissed her hard. Letting my tongue get carried away with the moment and introducing it immediately. Her powerful response just made me even more desperate to have her.

She slid herself down my body, brushing past my erection to land nimbly on her feet. As soon as she was down, she looked up at me with wide eyes.

"Jake?" She breathed, causing the need in me to throb.

"Mhmm?"

I couldn't even form the words anymore. Though I owed it to look at her. I wrenched my eyes open, past the images of her body entwined with mine, and looked down. Her face lit up and pulled into a half smile. Crooked. Sexy as hell.

As I looked at her, she looked down at my jeans. Then, I realised, she was questioning what she had just felt. I grinned at her when he gaze flitted back to mine and pulled her into a strong embrace, brushing her up against what had only gotten impossibly harder.

She smiled into my lips as she returned my kiss, her hands placed lightly onto my shoulders.

Suddenly, there was more pressure. She was pushing firmly against my shoulders. I tore my face away from hers and looked at her, questioningly. But she didn't want to get away, I could tell by her smile. So, I let her guide me. And her hands pushed me onto the forest floor.

I didn't have much time to look up at her, as she straddled my lap and pushed my back onto the floor. While her lips were busy tormenting me, her fingers were everywhere. Teasing as they trailed my torso. I kept my hands planted on her back, waiting for her to tell me what to do.

Her lips were gone, I was left kissing air, as her fingers had found their goal. Leah grabbed the hem of my green t-shirt and pulled it up, over my head. I arched my back, letting her do as she pleased, before grabbing her head and pulling her face down to my own once more.

Cool lines were being traced up and down my body as Leah's fingers explored. Searching every muscle, every scar, wanting every story. And I let her, knowing that the time would soon come that I would get to experience that same freedom.

Though I knew she could feel the length of me, even more needing, from her straddled position over my waist. Every time she moved, she rubbed up against me, causing me to gasp into her mouth. And, with every gasp, came a little smile. This is what she wanted. She always had loved to torture me, but I had never known there could be such a beautiful way of doing it.

Her lips released me from their taunting embrace as she left me gasping for air. While I was getting my breath back, Leah began placing delicate kisses across my jaw. Down my throat. Nipping gently at my skin as she went. On reaching my collar bone, she trailed her tongue real gently across it.

This was getting too much.

I flipped Leah onto her back and pressed my whole body into hers. She wound her fingers in my hair as she met my lips with a fierceness that took me by surprise.

Not one to be left a follower, I gave her back as much passion as I could muster. Telling her how much I cared with my kiss. As I explored her warm mouth with my needing tongue, my hands began moving of their own accord. Feeling the whole of her body. But that damn purple summer dress was getting in my way.

This wouldn't do.

I found the hem, just above her knees. Arching my body from hers, while keeping our kiss in tact, I began drawing my fingers up her skin and removing that freaking dress as I went. Her body was soft, warm, compliant, as I pulled her dress off her head and threw it into the bushes.

Leah stared up at me, grinning, as I admired her perfect body. Even more beautiful up close. Before I could properly get to know every inch of skin from her full, luscious lips to her abundantly full breasts and down to the very tips of her delicious toes; she was gone. Slipping out of my grasp with ease.

Her smile became even wider as she looked down at me, my face all but smashed into the muddy ground. I pushed my face up, stared at her, not knowing what to do.

Quickly, she crouched next to me and kissed me on the forehead. That is, before running like hell into the brightening morning forest.

"Fuck." I cursed to myself.

"_Aw, c'mon Jake... I always thought you liked a good chase." _

Her voice was tauntingly beautiful even in my mind. Damn Leah. She had changed. Well, two could play at that game...

I shrugged out of my jeans as I ran for the trees, ignoring the echoing laughter of a running wolf in my mind.

The fur sprouted suddenly, my arousal speeding up the change. My wolf form bursting out from beneath my skin, as if I had kept it waiting too long. It was eager to join in the fun.

"_Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?"_ She teased.

"_You're going to be sorry when I catch you..." _

"_If, Jake. If you can catch me." _Her mocking was delicious.

"_Tell you what, when I do you have to do whatever I want..."_

"_Deal. It's a shame you won't ever find me though... I might like to see what kind of imagination you have." _She laughed. _"C'mon, Jake. I want you to try real hard..."_

"_Hard is something I'm good at."_

She giggled in my head, not realising that I had just spotted her chestnut tail bob between the trees in front of me. I bounded forward, now sure of my path.

"_Guess who!"_ I yelled as I leaped into midair and landed on her back.

"_Well, seems you've caught me."_

Leah's hazel eyes looked up at me from her wolf's face as she lay on her back. Two appearances, same personality. And, I was finding, that I liked every aspect. More than liked...

"_You don't sound too sad about that." _

"_I told you, I might want to see what kind of imagination you have." _

She licked my muzzle and tried to wriggle out from under me. I kept my paws firmly planted on either side of her head. After the chase, I wasn't letting her get away that easily.

"_Jake,"_ she practically purred. _"Let me up... you know you want to..."_

_Bella POV_

I had slept a lot on the plane. Even though I had tried to stave it off as long as possible, it was inevitable. Carlisle had told me I would need to sleep more to make up for what my body had been through, and he had unfortunately been right. As always.

I knew what would be waiting behind my eyelids. Another thing that seemed inevitable. Edward. And, not only Edward, but Edward wearing the most dejected and disappointed look I had ever seen.

This was killing him, what I was doing. He was sure to know by now. Either Alice must have seen it or he must have contacted Jacob. Whichever was the truth, I knew that I had to face up to the truth. Edward knew. And, without a doubt, he would be doing everything in his power to get to me before I did anything stupid.

But it was too late. I had caught both my transfer flights and was almost there. I didn't have long left. There was little he or any of the Cullens could do. It was all in my hands now.

I hadn't had any baggage to collect, so had missed the mad rush of tourists. It was evening, but still so warm. On leaving the airport at Rome, the hot air hit me like a wall. So very different to Forks. I couldn't picture any vampires wanting to reside here, but I knew they did. I had met them. And I knew exactly where to find them again.

I didn't know how much it would cost to get there, but I knew that I had enough American Dollars to support my journey. Alice had showed me last time how willing the natives here were to take our foreign currency, so I had little to worry about.

Except when the next bus would be.

I had decided against taking a taxi, there was so much that could go wrong. But, if I was on public transport with other people, I had more of a chance of getting to my destination without any incidents. At least, that's what I hoped.

At the information desk, I was referred to the only English speaking employee and pointed in the direction of the bus parking lot. I was also told that it would take me at least a day to get to Volterra, with two bus transfers along the way. He wrote down the number, 138, and the two buses along the way that I would have to transfer to along with the destinations that I would need to get off.

I thanked him with my shaky basic Italian, and headed for my transport.

The bus driver accepted $30 to take me to my first stop, and said it would be the same price on the other two links that I needed. Again, I found myself thanking him and sat towards the front of the bus.

It took a while to get started, but we were soon off. There weren't many people on the bus, so I was able to have two seats to myself. I rested my head against the window, tucked my feet underneath me and fell asleep once more. Not relishing that the only thing waiting for me in the darkness was the disappointment that stemmed from the love of my life.

-----------------------------------

Twenty three hours and two bus transfers later, I was standing at the bottom of the hill that led up to Volterra. I took a deep breath and began the steep climb, ignoring the sinking feeling that made my stomach more nauseous with each step.

It was evening the next day, but it was even hotter than the day before. The heat was almost unbearable. A part of me wished for the night, like I'm sure the vampires inside the city did. And, soon, I would be like them too. Unable to come outside in the burning Italian daytime for fear of exposure in the bright sunlight.

But that didn't matter. This was what I wanted. For once, I was doing something I wanted. Yes, it was to hurt another; but I wanted to do it. Edward rarely thought of me anymore. Too engulfed was he by the anguish that followed him back after our honeymoon. Why couldn't he understand that the pregnancy was what I wanted? More my fault than his?

He had taken that away from me, our baby, so I was taking myself away from him. Not forever, I couldn't bear the thought of being apart from Edward forever. But long enough for him to realise what loss felt like. Long enough for him to feel what I was feeling.

I loved the stupid bastard, but I could never forgive him.

Now, this was his punishment. He was going to loose me like I lost our daughter. To show him what being helpless really felt like.


	10. Volterra

**A/N:**

**Okay, so where did I leave you guys? Volterra? :P**

**Just a short a/n to say hope you like this, don't expect a Jacob POV as it is all on Bella this time and you better get ready for some big developments.**

_Twilight and it's characters do not in any way belong to me._

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Ten

_Bella POV_

The sun was setting, but the heat was showing no signs of leaving. At least I was nearing the city walls. Volterra loomed over me, menacing. Knowing the betrayal I was about to commit. For a second that thought stopped me, but only for a second.

I trudged onwards and upwards. They must have seen me, either their guards had been laughing at my slow journey up the very large hill or one of Aro's extensive clan would have had a vision. Whichever was the truth, someone would be expecting my arrival.

As the gate drew ever nearer, I thought about my options. I needed to get an audience. I needed to do this fast. There was only one surefire way that I could get the very quick and usually very unwanted attention of the Volturi.

I would have to make a scene.

And then, I would have to hope that Aro's curiosity would be powerful enough to stop him from killing me.

I got through the gates as the guards were changing over for the night shift. They let me in without any trouble, not even bothering to glance more than once in my direction.

I headed towards the clock tower. It was the one place I knew to find for certain. There was no possible way that I would ever forget it. The large, brick tower rose steadily above me in the distance. Taunting. Its memories almost as vivid as my own.

Scornfully, it made me relive one of the worst days of my life. The worst day up until very recently. I had thought I wasn't going to make it in time. I had thought Edward was going to die, because of me.

But I had saved him.

Why couldn't he have saved me?

I trudged onwards, determined, knowing this was the only way. The fountain was in sight, the clock tower growing steadily as I got nearer and nearer.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with life-giving air as I plunged into the water of the fountain. So cold, it burned where it splashed against my skin. But nothing was going to stop me now. I was too damn close.

The angel in the center of the pool spat water into my face as I neared it, ironically idyllic. The gold wings glinted in the last rays of the disappearing sun.

As I reached up and grabbed hold of her neck, the angel of salvation, my fingers tingled from the remaining warmth of the day. The last warmth I would remember from a guardian angel that was never present.

My feet swung up and found places to fit in her arched back. I was thankful, for once, that my clumsiness seemed absent. Using the angel's head, I pulled the rest of my body into the air and leaned my back against her gold figure. One of perfection, yet so emotionless. A figurine forever trapped in a solitary state.

That was my Edward... that was soon to be me...

I looked out into the dissipating crowds, and noticed for the first time that a group of people stopped to watch me. A group that was slowly but surely getting larger. I was making a spectacle of myself; but then, wasn't that the point?

I grinned to myself, sure I was starting to go insane, as I took another large lungful of air.

"Deep in the belly of Volterra reside vampires."

I yelled into the sunset, closing my eyes against the slight glare. Knowing that it was probably for the best, not looking to my audience and their reactions. Even though they weren't real people to me, I still heard audible gasps at my outburst. At least I knew I was being heard...

"They have lived here for thousands of years," I yelled, louder now. "Using us humans as sheep, as cattle for their amusement and food source."

This time, there were yells to my statement. People telling me I was crazy in English, and saying what I could only assume was much worse in Italian. But that didn't deter me.

"All your legends are based on lies! You are being watched by them at all times, made to keep docile and polite. Ever noticed how outsiders seem to disappear?"

There was movement amongst the crowd. I had to dare a look out.

The people were being moved to the side by large men with guns. In the shadows, I saw them. The vampires I was outing to the world. I recognised Caius and Renata, and the evil little Jane. They were waiting for me to be brought to them. No going back now.

"There are vampires! Open your eyes! Living in the shadows, stealing your children! Beware of the vampires of Volterra!"

As I ended my outburst, reiterating my belief for good measure, I felt water splashing around me while I heard feet advancing. Suddenly hands were being tightened around my body. My legs, arms and torso being grabbed from all angles.

I had to make my finale impressive.

"See how they come to censor me? Your vampires? They are afraid of the truth escaping! Watch out! The vampires are all around you!"

A hand was clamped firmly over my mouth as I was hoisted into the air, as easily as if I were a rag doll. I tried to cling on to the angel, but my fingertips slipped easily from her body. She was letting them get me. She was letting me get what she thought I wanted. But, did I want this?

As I was being carried from the fountain, I realised that traveling to Italy to confront the Volturi had been my most stupid idea ever. What was I thinking? I was going to die now, and it was all for nothing. Nothing.

I was such a stupid, immature, selfish bitch.

There was darkness all of a sudden. I had been quickly removed from the public eye and into the shadows. Where Aro's guard waited patiently for me, smiles covering every one of their faces. I knew then that this was the biggest mistake of my life.

"Bella, isn't it?" Jane giggled, her child-like laugh tinged with malice. She knew who I was, but she liked to play games.

I was placed in front of her and the arms removed from my body. Jane's face scrunched up in concentration, but my body felt nothing. Her powers were still useless and ineffective. I could see it was driving her crazy.

She glowered at me, and all I could do was smile.

"We have been awaiting your arrival," Caius stepped forward and put a cold arm around my shoulders. "Though we were never sure how you were going to grab our attention. Brava calla Bella, brava."

I resisted a shudder under his touch as his smile widened and grip tightened. He was leading me forward, past the ousted Jane and confused Renata. Well, at least his overly friendly welcome wasn't just a shock to me.

The direction seemed familiar, as we headed even deeper into the shadows, but I knew I wouldn't have been able to find any of this by myself. All too soon, we were by a grate in the ground. A grate that haunted my nightmares, always permeated by screams. Muffled screams begging for help...

This time, I shuddered. There was no containing it. I had no one here to protect me. Whatever happened from this point on I would have no control over, and that scared the hell out of me.

Caius smiled as the crack showed in my composure while he dropped gracefully through the opening in the ground, lithely followed by both Jane and Renata. The guards, still holding the metal grate above the ground, nodded at me to descend. There was no point in even trying to run away anymore.

I took a deep breath and jumped.

My feet never even touched the ground as I was grabbed, midair, around the waist by a moving marble monster. I looked down at the grinning face and shuddered as Caius's grip tightened once more. He was enjoying this, my unease.

For a while he just stood there, with me in his arms, showing no signs of ever letting me free. That is, until I heard a child-like cough resonate from the darkness ahead.

"Stop playing games, Caius." Jane reprimanded him, as if she were the mother and him the unruly child.

I had to stop myself laughing as Caius grumbled, his marble body vibrating with anger. Grudgingly, he set me onto my feet. Only after his hands lingered for a little too long on my legs and ass. He was toying with me, but I didn't know why.

"Ah, Bella," he whispered into my ear as he took hold of my right hand firmly. "I'm so glad you decided to pay us this visit. You won't be sorry."

His breath crawled over my skin, tinged with the coppery smell of blood. I choked back my gag reflex as he continued to speak.

"Edward doesn't know how to treat a lady, he is still too much a child. I, on the other hand, would do everything in my power to make you happy. Everything." His hand quickly left mine to trace circles at the base of my spine. Too often straying to touch me inappropriately.

As I continued to cringe, surrounded by an all too friendly Caius, I realised we were almost there. We had reached the foyer. The receptionist behind the large granite desk was different, I was painfully aware how obvious the change was.

She was a large, formidable lady. Thick, horn-rimmed glasses framing her icy blue eyes; while her greying brown hair was pulled tightly back into a neat bun. Her lips were pursed, making her look as though she had just sucked a lemon, and her face round. The name at the front of her desk read 'Trudy'.

Trudy waved us forward, barely taking any notice of me. Probably assuming I was merely another plaything, a toy to pass the time. She had probably seen thousands like me before, and would see thousands like me afterwards. I shuddered once more at the thought and noticed, for the first time, that Caius's presence was no longer stifling me.

Instead he was in front of me, holding the large red door open with unnatural ease. As soon as I squeezed past him, his body moving closer to mine as I tried to shy away, he was back by my side. Quick as a flash. Hands resting lightly on my ass.

"Bella! How nice to see you again!" Aro cooed from his throne-like chair at the back of the room. "You are early!" He spoke as if I had arranged a time, if this had all been planned weeks in advance.

"Aro." I acknowledged him, but tried to show my disdain. He was my last option, my only out. This was not a social call, and he should damn well know that.

"You look so sad, Bella." Aro lifted himself from his chair with his withered hands and glided across the floor, towards me. "Tell me, what ails you so?"

As he passed over the drain in the center of the room, I shuddered once more. Knowing of all the people who had met their ends in this very room was not making my nerves any more bearable. Aro stopped barely an arms length ahead of me.

"Leave us!" He commanded. More powerful than his time-ravaged body looked capable of.

Figures once melted into the shadows stepped forward with sighs. They glided past me, glaring, to the blood red door. When I looked back to Aro, I noticed that there were only three left. Aro, Marcus and Caius. All smiling sympathetically.

"I assume you all know why I'm here." I began bluntly, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible.

"Ah, Bella, but where are your manners? First, we must exchange pleasantries." Caius winked at me and made my skin crawl.

"No, no." Aro scolded. "Bella is right, we must begin talking business. There will be time for pleasantries when she is one of us."

"You realise there are rules." Marcus chimed in, his voice containing a razor sharp edge.

"What kind of rules?"

"You will be indebted to us, dear Bella. You must become a part of the Volturi, of course. At least for a century. For us to teach and guide you the only proper way there is." Aro's all-knowing tone filled the room with his proclamation.

"I may stay with you, but never for that long. Aro, I will not." My voice was stronger than I ever hoped it could be. The inner turmoil swirling in the pit of my stomach threatened a panic attack very soon.

"You may change your mind, Bella. When you see what we have to offer." Caius's words were followed by another wink.

"That may be the case. But, if not, I will leave. And you won't stop me."

"Bella, dear, let us take a moment to be rational. We can dispute time lengths later. The only important thing now is that we are clear on your motives. You came to Volterra to seek us out, and you have. In the process you caused a public scene and some hysteria. This is usually punishable by death."

I sucked in a deep breath, but Aro ignored my anxiety. Instead, choosing to continue his breakdown of my arrival.

"However," he bellowed over the sounds of my heavy breathing. "We are willing to ignore this usually heinous crime, as you so desperately want to join us. It will be a great honor to be the first to witness what are destined to be magnificent powers."

"Are you sure this is what you want? You can change your mind now." Marcus leered.

"If I do oppose, you will just kill me." Marcus laughed at my response. "I thought so. And, anyway, I'm positive. I wish to be come a vampire."

Just then, there was an almighty crash from the other side of the blood red doors. I spun around quickly, in time to see them flying open. Splintered wood flew about the room and, when it cleared, there was a single figure standing there. Eyes burning with apologies and fear.

Edward.

"You can't have her!" He bellowed, his voice echoing about the room. A thousand angel's voices crying out their protest.

"She came to us. You obviously couldn't do anything to placate her. This is going to happen." Caius was by my side, his arm around my shoulders once more.

"NO!" Edward howled as he launched himself towards Caius. He was grabbed from behind by twelve guards he hadn't heard approach. I could have told him they were near, if I had wanted to.

"Edward, you shouldn't have come." My eyes were on the floor as I spoke, I couldn't bear to look at the pain on his perfect face.

"How could I not? I have to save your soul!"

"My soul?" I screamed back, unable to contain myself. "You destroyed my soul when you destroyed our child. What difference will it make if I'm turned now? I have nothing to live for!"

I knew that I wanted to live for him, but he couldn't know that. The creases on his face told me that my words had successfully maimed him. He knew now I could never forgive him.

"I love you, Bella. Please..." he begged pitifully.

"I love you too." I mumbled, just so he knew it was true. "But I have to do this."

"Take me instead!" Edward's voice was shouting once more. "Leave Bella, just take me!"

"I'm afraid that isn't possible, Edward."

Aro walked gracefully towards Edward, whose body was being pressed against the ground by the Volturi guards. He used a finger to tilt up his chin, so they were staring into one another's eyes. As Aro's skin made contact with Edward's, his eyes closed in concentration.

"Well, well." He shook his head as he stepped back. "No wonder she came to us, after all you have put her through." A sob broke through Edward's lips as his face crumpled in on itself, filled with self-loathing. "No matter what, boy, she would have to be changed anyway. She knows too much."

"Aro," I whispered as I walked towards him. "Let Edward stay. Keep him somewhere. So I can see him afterward. So he knows I'm okay. That is the last thing I ever want to do for him."

Caius wrapped his arm back around my shoulders as he lead me out past Edward's still struggling form. I heard Aro issue commands as I was leaving. Being taken to my own quarters.

"Take him to the tower. We perform the ceremony tomorrow. He must be in attendance."


	11. Speed of Sound

**A/N:**

**So, last time there was a pretty mean cliffhanger. The whole Bella, Volturi situation... sorry about that :P Just stick with me, okay. I'm nowhere near the end yet and am sure there are some interesting developments on the horizon.**

**We may even check in with Jacob in this chapter.**

**This one is for Tassia, who didn't judge me after dragging her into the world of fanfiction and even gave it a chance. Thanks for listening to my ideas (even though I kind of didn't give you the choice, while you were stuck with me in my car).**

**I hope you all like it.**

_You know which characters belong to SM by now… right?_

* * *

Chapter Eleven

_Bella POV_

The smile spread wide across my face as I felt the blood drip slowly from my lips. I looked down, following the river of red, and found two wide green eyes staring back at me. Life draining out of them with every passing second.

My smile increased as the eyelids fluttered, a small moan escaped from my lips as I could control myself no longer. I bent down to the pale flesh and sunk my teeth into the cooling skin. Blood, the life-giving fluid, pooled in my mouth once more. I gulped hard, pulling away every last drop, noticing how nothing before had ever tasted as good as this. Nothing from my previous life could compare.

The body was empty. I knew instantly when it happened. My mind forced me to stop, even though it was the last thing on earth I wanted to do.

I looked down once more, marveling in my kill, and saw that it wasn't completely dead. The eyelids fluttered once more, and again I found myself staring into the deep green depths of my prey. The smile formed on my lips involuntarily.

"Why?" The croaky whisper seemed unearthly loud in the once silent room.

It took me by surprise, this noise. Where had it come from?

I looked down into the pleading eyes of the dying prey. It's lips parted, begging, as it questioned me once again. That's what had made the noise. It was speaking to me. Imparting its final words as it lay dying slowly in my arms.

I refused to answer the thing. It wasn't worthy of knowing me. I knew that now. After so many years of wondering if I had ever been good enough, I knew that I never had been. Bu now, things were different. I was good enough. It was everyone else that was inferior.

"Why..." its breaths were coming in gasps as it still continued its questions. I knew it wouldn't be long before the speaking ceased. It was only a matter of moments.

Averting my eyes from the thing, I stared into the domed ceiling and at the fading light of my first day. The sun barely catching my skin, but enough to light rainbow prisms that danced on the walls around me.

Suddenly, there was a noise that shook me out of my daydreams. Something that brought me back to the present with an unhappy thud. A reminder that I didn't want to have.

"Bella..."

Was the last word uttered by the now dead thing in my arms. I looked down as its eyelids shut for the final time, bronze hair flopping into it's closed eyes. Body limp but, I noticed for the first time, dazzlingly beautiful even in death.

"Edward."

The realisation hit me so fast that I could feel the blood I had taken rush back up my throat and onto the floor beside him. His blood. His wonderful, living blood. I had taken it all to sate my own hunger.

I had killed him...

It was then that I started to scream. Eyes closed, lungs bursting with sorrow.

When I opened my lids once more to look down at the broken body in my too strong arms, it was gone. There was nothing. An empty space. A hole, never to be filled, like the one in my own heart.

The domed ceiling had also disappeared, along with the light.

It was dark. Too dark.

I felt it then, that I had been placed in a bed. Unfamiliar. Sheets tangled around my legs, pillow thrown onto the floor.

Had it?

Had it only been a dream?

At first I wasn't sure, but then I realised it was true. It couldn't have been real. My Edward was a vampire, immortal. I could never take his life. But I also knew what had triggered the dream. I understood then where I was.

Volterra.

I had betrayed my whole family by coming here.

I had asked to be turned, in exchange for my service to Aro's guard.

And I'd had the love of my life locked away so as not to interfere in my death.

What the hell was wrong with me?

As I sat, pondering, there came a knock on the door. A loud repetition of three raps. The door began to open without my approval. There was nothing I could do to stop it. I knew that the time had come, there was no turning back.

I gulped, my throat too dry and thick with fear.

_Dear God_, I began to pray for the first time in years, _make sure I'm okay_. But that wasn't the only thing I asked for, this was the preliminary request. Getting the attention of a deity that may or may not exist to help me with my most pressing problem.

_Please_, I begged, _help Edward_.

There was no time to ask God to keep watch on the Cullens as a figure entered my room and consumed my thoughts completely. I was only allowed a brief moment to imagine God, high up in heaven, laughing at the spectacle I was making of myself.

"Calla Bella," his voice purred as he devoured me with his eyes. "It is time you were getting dressed. Aro is waiting for us."

He smiled and licked his lips as he walked towards the only other furnishing, aside from the bed, in the room I had been given. Caius disappeared for a moment behind the large wooden doors, before emerging swiftly with an outfit.

"I think I can choose my own clothes..."

I hadn't meant to speak out loud, but it was too late. The words had escaped. I had wanted so badly to remain silent until I was powerful enough to defend myself, but my mind obviously had other plans.

"Bella," he laughed.

If I didn't know him any better, if I hadn't heard him kill innocent people, if his red eyes didn't burn my skin every time they passed over me, I might have been attracted to Caius. To his unfailingly beautiful face and angel-like voice. Though I knew it was all a ruse. A sick ploy to entrance his prey and hide his inner demon. A demon that I was so willing to become; because I knew that, without the Cullens' influence, Aro was sure to keep me as bloodthirsty as the rest of his guard.

"Just wear this."

Delicately, he placed his chosen ensemble on the bed. Even matching underwear with the gorgeous red silk dress he had picked out for me.

It was almost as if Alice were in the room with me at that instant, reciting all the positives of this dress in my head to convince me that I had to wear it. Though the spaghetti straps and flowing skirt to just below the knees wasn't what made me get out of bed, it was the knowledge of the killers awaiting my arrival that forced my hand.

"If you don't mind." I raised my eyebrow at Caius, wanting him to leave me in peace, but he simply smiled.

"Oh, I don't mind at all." His smile got wider as he strode towards me. "You go ahead and get changed for the festivities."

Holding my tongue, aware of the unnecessary attention I would draw, I turned my back to Caius and stripped down to the waist. I knew he was watching, could tell by the sharp intake of unneeded air as his eyes roamed my pale flesh, but there was nothing I could do.

I was at their mercy now… and I knew they would take every opportunity to revel in their power.

The lace of the red bra clung delicately to my small breasts, as if it would tear with a single movement. Clasping the back gently, I decided I would put the dress on before removing my underwear. My plan would have gone smoothly. If it weren't for the hand.

His hand.

The cold feel of an unwanted touch.

Silently, he had glided towards my turned back and taken advantage of my half naked state. First, he placed both hands lightly onto the base of my spine; then he began the movement. Circling my hips with his icy fingertips, dragging them slowly up the front of my body, prolonging the agony he knew he was causing me. Until, finally, he did what I knew he wanted. He grabbed hold of my breasts and squeezed. Gentle to start, becoming more needing as the seconds passed.

I would have done something. Wanted to do something. Anything. But I couldn't. My body physically couldn't move. I was on autopilot. My mind filling the space that should have been wanting to escape with thoughts of Edward. Crying out for him. His name echoing through the emptiness that was my shock.

The hands were elsewhere. I hadn't noticed through my terror that Caius had found something else to gain his interest. My jeans. Louder now was the voice in my head. Wishing desperately that, for once, Edward could hear my thoughts and come to my rescue.

He was undoing the zip. Oh, God. I couldn't stand it. Him. Their whole damn clan. I hated them all. Right at that instant I wanted to kill every last bastard in the Volturi and never look back.

Lower. His cold hands were testing the elastic waistband of my underwear. I held tightly onto my breath hoping that, if nothing else, the asphyxiation would kill me before shame did.

But there was no time.

As his hands began to slide the elastic down, there came a knock. One single knock.

Caius snapped back within an instant. Threw himself to the other side of the room. If I hadn't known better, I would have said he were panting.

"Yes?" His voice growled with annoyance.

"She has to be brought down now." Came a bored, non-descript voice from the other side of the mahogany. I couldn't even tell if the owner were male or female.

"Almost ready. Begin the preparations."

I gulped at his words as I quickly thrust the red dress on over my head and prayed that Caius and I would no longer be ever required to spend alone time together.

_Jacob POV_

It had been such a damn shame that me and Leah had to cancel our plans. Pack comes first after all. She had heard the urgent notice Sam sent and passed it on, taking her own sweet time as usual to change after myself. I hadn't seen her since. Not since she had told me Sam needed me. I was worried, of course, but I had to go.

Though, as I walked, my mind continued to wonder at all the things I could and would make her do for me. She was definitely not going to regret me catching her. All I regretted was that we hadn't had a chance to finish what we had started.

But, Sam had requested a meeting. With me and only me…

At first, I had been worried; until I realized he couldn't possibly know about me and Leah.

We were to meet in the forest, out by the beach. He wished to speak to me before addressing the rest. I was confused, intrigued. What could Sam have to tell that I didn't know of?

My mind was way too preoccupied to come up with it's own theories.

Soon, I was there. My feet crunching on a bed of pine needles and pebbles, where the land met the sea. The restless tide rolled ever on. Gentle. Content. Soothing. I felt my eyelids drooping watching its movement. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth…

"Jacob!"

I snapped myself out of my daydream and turned around quick. Sam was sat under a tree a few feet away, arms folded and slight grin on his face. I smiled back slowly as I walked towards him, trying to gauge whether the look on his face was a sad or happy one. I would hate it if he had bad news.

A flash of chestnut caught my attention, out of the corner of my right eye. Leah. She had followed me. I could hardly phase to yell at her in front of Sam, so I let it slide… For now.

"Hey Sam, what's doing?"

"Not much, not much." He continued to grin as I parked myself on some available floor by his side.

"So, you needed to see me?" I couldn't help my curiosity. I was worse than a child. Bella would have totally laughed… Shit. Not now. Not her…

"Yeah," he cut through my agony. "I've just received some pretty huge news."

I still couldn't tell if I should be pleased, or preparing war.

"Spit it out, what's the deal? Some new vampire crap to deal with?" It usually was.

"What? No!" Sam laughed. "Nothing like that."

"It isn't bad news then?" I waited before I felt relief.

"God, no. If anything, it is the best news of my life."

"Right." I was confused as hell. "Don't keep me in the dark, man. What's happened?"

"I wanted you to be the first to know. Then the pack. Then our elders, of course. They're going to totally need to know about this. Keep an eye on the developments and check on how things are doing…"

Sam was babbling and it was irritating the hell out of me. I knew he was happy, and I was glad for him. I just wanted him to open up.

"Sam, what's the big news?"

"Emily… she's pregnant."

Whoa.

Hadn't seen that one coming.

Shit.

Leah.

It was about this time I realized I hadn't spoken for a good few minutes. "Wow. Sam, that's awesome. Truly."

"I know, we're so excited. And, so everything doesn't crash down on us at once, we're moving the wedding date forward. We were thinking of next month, at the full moon. Emily's idea. We want you, Jared, Paul, Seth, Quil, and Embry all as part of the wedding. I want you all as my best men… if you wanted to, that is."

"Of course." I clapped him on the back. "Congrats, for everything man." Though there was something that still bothered me. "Hey, Sam?"

"Yeah, Jake?"

"You know about Emily, does anyone else know?"

"No."

"I mean, when you sent out the message earlier and were really happy and shit, did you maybe think about the news while at the same time thinking of meeting with me?"

"Fuck."

"I thought as much…"

"Leah."

"Yeah, man. I think she heard you. I haven't seen her since she passed on the message."

"Fuck."

"Don't worry." I could still see a streak of chestnut in the greenery ahead of me. "I'll sort it out. No worries. Just, don't phase for a while. Tell the guys to stick to two legs as well. At the same time as you give them the news, of course."

I smiled. I wanted to be reassuring. I was too consumed by Leah. The pain she must be feeling…

"Thanks, Jacob. You are a good guy. Come and find us when it's done. We'll be at Emily's."

"It's cool. You go. I won't be long." At least, I hoped I wouldn't be.

I didn't even notice Sam disappear into the trees, brown skin melting into bark and becoming indistinguishable. He wasn't what held my attention.

The chestnut streak was getting further away. Running. Leaving. Couldn't bear it anymore. I knew the feeling. I'd had to do it myself. When the love of my life married another. So badly, all I wanted to do was follow. Help ease the suffering in any way I could. But I also knew that she wouldn't be open to anyone right now. Wouldn't be open to anyone for a while.

Even though she was leaving, she took a part of me with her. I had to let her know there was something to come back to. It was all I had left.

I stripped quickly, phasing on the spot.

Her tears were louder than hailstones in my head. I wanted to cry with her, for her, but she would never allow it.

_"Leah,"_ I called out. Reaching for a mind that was closed and a heart that was breaking.

_"Don't."_ Her mind howled while her throat made not a sound.

_"You already knew, that's why you left me earlier. So, why torture yourself again by coming here? By listening to news that was only going to kill you."_

_"I had to know for sure…"_

_"I won't follow you."_

_"I don't want you to."_

_"I know. Just… come back, yeah? For me?"_

But I got no reply.

All I heard, in the distance, was the mournful cry of a beautiful female. Sorrow finally spilling from her mouth. Tripping over her tail to get far enough away. Heart ripping into pieces as she ran. It echoed on the breeze, resonated through the pines, danced with the waves. Remaining in my ears long after she was gone.


End file.
